when it rains
The soft grey sky
Drifts to the ground
Brown rivulets
Trickle away
Trickle away
Washing sadness down
Weather vanes
Weep and turn
Weep and turn
Forgetting in the damp and grey
That by and by
The sun will shine
Sun will shine
By and by
The sun will shine.
Jeni Carino
Breakaway
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
dailies
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
-2:42 AM
i'll blaze my own trailseems like everywhere i look i see something that makes me think there's so many things i have to change about myself.. i've been trying so hard to get over the fact that i'm small.. sometimes i can live with it.. other times i ask why.. and what if.. what if i didn't have to go through all of this.. as a reader and a total outsider you might think i'm overreacting.. but you don't know what it's like to deal with it everyday.. every single day.. some days it's fine.. but there are days that i get really ticked off.. and i get called sensitive and stuff like that.. i'd shrug off snide remarks and still get called sensitive.. having a very tough mind and a "strong" personality isn't really working to my advantage.. i've turned from being idealist to realist.. in such a short span of time.. but that's not nearly all of it.. i can't believe that at 19.. i'm still trying to find out who i am... but this is me.. why can't people just see me as me.. and be glad that i am who i am.. i knew a person like that once.. he used to say nice things about me.. but then it became a routine for him and the words are always the same.. that i'm finding it hard to believe in him now.. i hate that i always think about my problems.. and it keeps me from functioning efficiently.. i used to be this and that.. now, i feel like i'm nothing... envy.. yeah.. a whole lotta envy.. it's a great big monster that has come to take residence in this little body.. that it has totally overpowered me.. i can't look straight on whenever my younger sisters get noticed for their height or their great legs or anything else that i don't have.. i've tried talking to my mom once.. but knowing her.. she'd bring it up the next time we get into an argument and she'd be using it against me over and over and over and over.. she loves doing that.. remembering all my mistakes and retelling it to me with much bravado.. i look in the mirror and i see this girl standing in front of me.. scared.. always.. of rejection... hungry for attention.. i've got friends.. who tell me stuff about me that they like.. but i really wanna hear it from family.. from relatives.. i'm sick of hearing nasty comments from them..
somebody save me..
i'm starting to wonder what it would feel like to be taken away...
away from all this..
yeah i know.. i'm such a drama queen..
