when it rains
The soft grey sky
Drifts to the ground
Brown rivulets
Trickle away
Trickle away
Washing sadness down
Weather vanes
Weep and turn
Weep and turn
Forgetting in the damp and grey
That by and by
The sun will shine
Sun will shine
By and by
The sun will shine.
Jeni Carino
Breakaway
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)
Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway
dailies
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
-2:10 AM
never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game...
not perfect.. i'm not as perfect or as good as you seem to see me.. i have flaws.. insecurities that haunt me every night before i close my eyes.. and each morning when i face the new day with the same problems... i still try.. well what else can i do... like everyone else.. it's not like i have any other choice.. running away and lying to myself seem like pretty good ideas a such moments.. but it won't change a thing.. you speak words as if you were from another century.. somehow.. stuck in a fantasy world... your words are like songs.. poetry... i've been cheering you on.. ever since you poured out your problems to me... forgetting mine for a while so that i could think of ways to help you.. sure did a lousy job though.. i wracked my brains thinking about what feel-good quotes or sayings i could tell you next.. lame ones came up often.. you can't blame me.. i can't be a problematic teen and a counselor at the same time.. that'd be impossible.. i offered to be your friend... well.. i didn't actually offer.. because you came to me.. i didn't push you away then.. hmm.. sori ngayon yun ang ginagawa ko.. sori talaga.. naisip ko lang na wala akong choice kasi hindi ka naman nakikinig... hmm.. nagulat ako sa reaction kong natanggap.. hindi ko inexpect.. hindi ko rin alam ano appropriate reaction.. so ang labo ng nanyari.. hmm.. hindi ko nrain alam kung pano magsalita ngayon.. unlike noon... you keep saying.. "hindi nga pala ito gusto mo marinig"... "tsaka ano ba babaguhin ko".. neither of which alam kong sagutin... haaay... pinoproblema ko narin... i've been losing people for the past year.. starting to think na ako ang ma rpoblema.. minsan i give up and just think... hindi naman mauubusan ng pagkakataon eh.. everything will play out right in the end... dapat kasi ganun nalang din iniisip mo... hmm.. may nagsabi sakin... "naiisip ko pag may problema ako.. maraming iba na masmalaki ang problema kesa sakin... kung sila nga kaya eh.. ako rin dapat.."... hmmm siguro kung nakita mo rin yung smile ng person na yun.. maiinspire ka... tulad ko... hmmm... yun ang tntry kong sabihin sayo eh.. don't look down on yourself.. pano magkakaron ng confidence sayo ang ibang tao kung ikaw mismo wala sa sarili mo... hmmm minemeasure mo sarili mo agad.. and you always set standards na pag hindi mo nameet.. you feel bad for yourself.. unintentionally, i guess.. you force me into feeling sorry for you too.. most of the time i don't.. kasi naggive up ka kagad.... once na magfail ka wala na... tama na... lagi mo sinasabi sakin mahirap... that i don't have any idea... pero kasi dapat pace mo sinusundan mo.. hindi pace ng iba.. sabi mo nga sakin masyado maraming strings attached.. siguro you have to sort out the strings and put on your own show... kaya mo naman eh... hindi mo kailangan sabayan o maunahan kahit sino... kahit ako... hmm.. tinatanong mo kung may meaning ang accomplishments mo.. oo meron... thre's no such thing as little accomplishments... one step at a time lang naman talaga lahat ng bagay eh... process.. system... it's good that you begin things with the end in your mind.. hmmm.. every little thing you do along the way is important... stop telling yourself otherwise... start listening to people... minsan kasi kinoclose mo na kagad isip mo... convincing yourself na alam mo na both sides... ang kailangan mo lang gawin ay piliin kung sino ang pakikinggan mo... hindi ka naman kasi ipapahamak ng mga taong may pakialam talaga eh... haaay.. parang personal letter na pala to.. bakit nga ba sa blog ko nilagay... haaay...
